WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THE FUCKING CONSTRUCTION WORK GOING OUTSIDE MY ROOM TO JUST FUCKING STOP?! I. AM. GOING. TO. EAT. MY. TABLE. IF. IT. CONTINUES!!!11!1ONEONEELEVEN!!11

i have been throwing tantrums this week because of things like... life. how... wonderful. pisses the shit out of me how i sit here and mope around instead of trying to get my act together and make things work out. but it's really hard, when you have a mindset like mine. every aspect of life seems to get at me everytime. first the house, then the school, the work i don't wanna do, then the people. people who are there on a daily basis but i really can't talk to, or don't want to talk to. people whom i THOUGHT would stick around, those whom i HOPED would be there (cause it seems like it) but suddenly they vanish as quick as they appeared and i realised that i really do hate people in general anyway. then there's this guyfriend who thinks i'm his girlfriend for the night AND the morning (self-proclaimed). but he abruptly goes silent after asking me a question (and at one point i thought that was funny). WTF is wrong with you people?! please don't even talk about the children who fucking pisses me off in the trains.

i fail at life. PHAAAIIIILLLLLLL!!! <- emphasis yo *spasm flailing* i think this is one of those days when nothing i do makes me feel better and this is one cranky entry. shall go hug my bolster because recently i really have random (wierd) urges of hugging people (which i won't allow myself to) and it's the right size for me hah. EXACTLY A MONTH MORE TO THE BELOVED BASSIST'S BIRTHDAY! i haven't got my sappy birthday letter written out yet but i'm excited to send the lighter out. while i'm at it, a big FUCK YOU to those who got him a better present than mine. if only i could scratch all of you out of the picture i feel like my life would be one step closer to 'BETTER'. honestly, remove him and i don't know what else will keep me from making a total wreck out of myself.

YAY FOR GIRUGAMESH'S NEW PV AND ABINGDON BOYS SCHOOL PWNZ YOUR BANANAS LIKE WHOA!!!11!111!!ELEVENONEONE1 AND AND AND I ALSO PRE-ORDERED GAZETTE'S NEW ALBUM AND DVD ONLINE HOW FAN-F@CKING-TASTIC IS THAT?!?! NOW I SHALL LIVE ON BREAD AND WATER FOR THE WHOLE MONTH BUT NO WORRIES CAUSE IT'S ALL WORTH IT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT IT'S TEH SHIZZZ AWWWSOMMMEE YO.